Let the surprises keep coming in

Wow. That's the word on my mind. I haven't had time to sit down and think, and let everything that's been happening sink in. Maybe I'm overwhelmed. Umm.. perhaps not as yet. But if I did sit down and reflect on it I think I'd probably be. Who would have thought so much can happen in so less a time.

Anyway, the thing is life is full of surprises, and how good it is when those are pleasant ones. One moment something seems so impractical, so impossible. You don't even want to entertain the thought of it in your head. Not because you don't want it but because, on the contrary, you really do. Then somehow somewhere down the line you wind up in another moment when you're getting more than what you dared ask for and find that you're asking yourself "Is this really happening?". And all you can do is laugh for lack of a better response. And somehow it is hard to accept it is happening because it's just too good to be true.

I guess that is what's happening to me. I guess I'm scared that this will all go away soon and I'll be back to the square one kind of lifestyle, if you know what I mean. And probably that's the real reason I don't even want to think about it in my head. It has nothing to do with some kind of a time-constraint I'm facing 'cause to tell the truth I manage to do so many of the other things everyday. But the thing is I'd hate to admit it. Well, was that a confession I just made? Anyway, I wonder why it is so much harder to accept a good thing than something which is not. Accepting the worse actually comes quite easy I've realized. I guess that's what playing safe means. You're so afraid to get disappointed, and it is when you expect that you face disappointments. So one's better off not expecting a good outcome, or perhaps assuming the worst. That makes you way safer. But does it?

You see I'd like to believe else-wise. There is this tiny voice inside my heart that tells me to accept good things because they actually do exist. It tells me what I desire in my heart I will receive. And it tells me all these little pleasant surprises are perhaps leading up in some way or another towards that which I really desire. I want to cling on to this subtle but obvious voice. Perhaps the thing is I need to learn how to receive well the small blessings before I am able to receive the big ones.

God works in unexpected ways. Let the surprises keep coming in. What else can I say.


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