Life is calling
I am about to embark on the most life changing experience of my life. And it's hard when the people that matter don't understand why you need to do what you need to do. It's harder when you realize that they are secretly hoping that you change your mind, or that something happens that makes you choose a "saner" path: the one you're "supposed" to take anyway. Not much of a secret now, is it? They sort of support your decision because at the end of the day they love you, and yet they sort of don't. Mostly, don't. They will let you do what you want and yet all you hear from them is discouragement. That sound familiar? It's hard because I am not all completely comfortable with the whole deal either myself, but I truly believe this is what I need to do if I want to be the person I dream of being one day, and if I want my life to illustrate what I claim to believe. Too vague? Okay, time for a few details.
I am moving to Leh to teach at a school there. I move at the end of this month. And I plan to be there for two years. My parents don't know about the second part, and I wonder if I should even tell them because they clearly don't seem to be taking the first half of it well. I figure, once I start life there and once that sort of life starts sounding like the "normal" stuff one does they will come around it. Although I wonder too if it ever is going to sound "normal" in their ears. So anyway, the next couple of weeks are the few "sensitive" days I have in a tricky environment before I physically transport myself to Leh. The way my friend puts it, in these coming days I must stay as "invisible" as possible. Good idea. The more I stay hidden, the less of an object of criticism I will be. One simply doesn't criticize a non-existing entity. Except, a schizophrenic maybe. Apart from family and their mood-swings, I do have the full support of the larger community I am a part of: my church. So that is nice.
Strictly talking about myself now, I am very excited to take on this new endeavor; a little nervous too, a little "I am really doing this!!", and a little "Oh my God!!! I am REALLY doing this!!!". And as of now, I am pretty clueless about how exactly life is going to look like in Leh, especially during the winters. But I suppose that's what a challenge looks like, and that's where lies the potential of real growth. Out of my comfort zone and into a totally new environment. Alone, for the first time ever in my life. I don't have all the details sorted out, but I suppose I must just plant myself there first thing and deal with the stuff as they come. And besides, I have my little guiding light inside of me always. So here's to a new life that is calling me to own it. My God walks ahead of me. He waits for me there, and will be with me, always.
(Photo taken at Shey, Ladakh)