A memo of sorts

I hate the fact that I am struggling to express. Such things usually come pretty easily to me. But there is so much of water in the well, and I can draw only so much. These days, although I am essentially me, I can feel that I am starting to change. That is, I hope I am changing. You know what I mean? 

When I think about my job I can't help but feel like an amateur because, as a matter of fact, I am one. And that makes me nervous. What do I know about raising teenagers anyway? Teaching is a sort of parenting, after all. I wonder about all the mistakes I could be making, and then sometimes I panic. "I am playing with children's lives!!!" Of course at such times what I really need to do is just calm down. Every experienced teacher today was playing it by the ear once, I think. And I don't believe any amount of professional training can give you a heart for the kids, you know, one that is really out there working for them and not against them. I have seen teachers who seem to think their job is to fight against some evil elements in the kids. They love the control they exercise over them. It makes them feel better about themselves. And unfortunately, they are addicted. So teaching becomes synonymous with passing judgements on students and "keeping a check" on them. Then there are the mercenaries. It is really just another job for them. They may actually be good at teaching their subjects, but they rarely realize students are first and foremost individuals. And perhaps there could also be some who look at students merely as samples in some study they have undertaken in their pursuit for greater truths. You know scholars, researchers, those types. I could be just inventing this one though, maybe such people don't exist. But it just seems very plausible to me, that's all. Anyway, I don't want to be in any of these categories, real or invented. I hope as long as I am teaching I will always be working in the students' team and not against them, although I have absolutely no clue what that looks like. And not being in any team does not mean you've escaped. You must be in a team, in the kids' team. So, what could be the opposing team then? I guess anything that does not have their interests paramount. When it comes to teaching shouldn't that be all that matters? I hope that everything I do will spring out of a heart that essentially cares for them. I hope I will always remember that it is not even about getting good grades or becoming successful in the eyes of the world. And I hope I won't forget to tell my students the same, and then remind them some. I hope I will remember to tell them that what it really is about is that they be wholesome people that God created them to be. And they have their whole lives to discover what all that encompasses. One experience, however good or bad, is never enough. So, don't stop yet!

This one for all those teachers out there who do more than merely teach. Cheers!