Another confession

I think this might be a weird thing to say but I don't necessarily trust people just because they trust me. And I know they trust me because I seem to be the only friend they have during their difficult times when they need to share about some of their deepest insecurities in life. And if they are opening up to me at that level I'm supposing they definitely trust me. I guess it's just a little bit complicated how things turned out between them and I. It's not like I dislike them or don't consider them my friends. We connect in a lot of ways and have really good times together too. Only that I can't rely on them. It's quite a sad fact to tell the truth. Sometimes I feel like I am remembered only when they are in some sort of trouble or going through a low phase. But it's not like I don't want to help them out or be there for them. It's just that it gets a little bit tiring to see them share happy moments with many friends they seem to have during good times, not to forget excluding me some of these times; but when it comes to the darker deeper issues I am suddenly their only friend. It's tiring playing the "guidance counselor". I'm not sure how things turned out like this. It's not like I don't get to be myself or share some pretty personal stuff or vent out too. Like I said we're friends. But if my life depended on it I couldn't trust them because a "guidance counselor" is all I might be to them and not really a friend friend, if you know what I mean. I guess what I need is someone to rely on, who is not afraid to tell me when they think I am wrong or stop me from a mistake I don't realize is one. I don't have anyone like that in my life, but I seem to be that for a number of people. And that can seem unfair sometimes. Maybe I expect too much but I guess that is because I also give that much. I just haven't met anyone brave enough to be that for me. 


Popular Posts