State of mind

I am in a mood for a blog post, although I have nothing to say in particular. Sometimes I think I want to start a DIY blog, or a photography blog, or a fashion blog, or something of that sort. But then I think I don't own a nice camera, nor do I have lots of cash to buy super fashionable clothes and show it off to the world. No matter. Perhaps they are things of the future, but even if they aren't....well, if they aren't then they aren't. I really appreciate fashion, and I follow it in my own way. Did I mention I wanted to be a fashion designer when I was a kid? I didn't ever imagine I'd be saying this, but now I think I want to be a teacher of some sort. I am starting to wonder if that is my calling in life. It'd be great to be able to impact a young life. I realize now the significance of a role-model, a guide in our formative years. I realize it because I didn't have any, and I see the difference it could have made. 

I am happy at this point in life. While talking to my sister today I made a remark about how I'm experiencing probably the most silent year of my adult life. Silence to imply less or no significant activity but more peace in spite of it. I have always sought security in activities because I thought they were a way of telling the world that I am useful and important. It is an easy trap to fall into. But I am happy that I think differently right now, which doesn't imply I'll be happy if I had to be idle my whole life. I'd like to think my life is at a significant pause right now. I am experiencing a significant silence. So good that sounds to a person who talks too much sometimes that she feels like barfing in the end! I've had moments in life when I've talked so much that my words get ripped off of any meaning they could hold. I am essentially talking crap. And I feel like crap about it later on. I suppose I could take it as a comforting fact that the last time I had such an experience was over a year ago, or maybe more. I intend to minimize such occurrences and then eliminate them altogether from my life. Words need to be treasured and I absolutely dislike how words are just thrown around so casually sometimes. Words that are supposed to hold so much meaning and experience used in frivolous circumstances. Like how someone loves someone else sooo much only to be found in someone else's arm some months later. Okay, a lot of 'some' there but I'll permit myself this time.

Words embody experience. That is what makes words so beautiful to me. So I like the fact that the Holy Bible is called the Word of God. I love the fact that Jesus is the Word. It is meaning being spoken into my life. How refreshing! This makes me wonder if I will ever be privileged to write something meaningful in this life. That would be a wonderfull gift. I guess right now, though, I could only dream about it. I am looking forward to having some meaningful activity in my life soon. I am waiting.
(Picture Courtesy: Google Images)


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