Dear God

Dear God,

I feel terribly nervous this time. I feel fear; fear of going back into the unknown. I know, most of these are unwarranted fears because You are what You are, and You are with me. But I feel what I feel, so I am telling You. Turn this head-knowledge into heart-knowledge, not so it becomes all about feeling but so it becomes all about being. As far as feelings go, I feel at this moment like my heart is going to jump out of my chest. I don't know what has happened to lead to this. I can't explain it. I just feel it. I fear loneliness, I fear idleness, I fear fruitlessness, but perhaps most of all I fear boredom. That there is the condition of my heart, and I won't be in denial. I don't have to pretend. Thank You because I can simply be me, for You wouldn't have it any other way. So here I am, just as I am. Have mercy on me.