A dream to own

Five years ago I was someone with all the answers (well almost), a proud owner of a big dream, beaming with confidence and utterly clueless! Of course the last description didn't really surface until just sometime later. I often wonder what it was that made me so sure! Whatever it was, it did bring me as far as I had gotten then no matter how deceptive the bubble I had been living in. What matters now is that I woke up, got out of the bubble and faced the real world. I don't want you to think I've turned myself into some sarcastic figure of sorts become bitter out of harsh encounters. Believe me that's not what I'm getting at.

As a kid I was never really much of a "thinker". I took everything Mommy and Daddy told me as given. That isn't the trouble. I was a kid after all. The unfortunate bit is that I just continued too long in that state. However, as mentioned earlier, I did wake up and how! Imagine with me an unsuspecting girl entering a brand new exciting phase of life: College! Great expectations were about to go down the drain. Now retrospecting, they were but shallow expectations with little or no foundational basis. But I believe what college did definitely do was thrust in a new element into my existence. That of thought. It was right from when I took my nascent steps into college life that I began to think for myself, question all the things I had been taking as given. My disillusionment made it inevitable to wonder if there was any meaning in life. Had I been fooled into believing something that was not? Did friendship just comprise of a number of similar physical entities 'hanging out' while caught within the premises of a campus that held them as much as the classes they attended? Was love just a crutch you use and keep upgrading from time to time? And then just that simply I found my dreams abandoning me slowly but definitely. Dreams became delusional. This was then.

One thing made everything make sense. One story I had become too familiar with. The story of Jesus conceived in a brand new light. This holds the answer to all my 'whys'. Now I live for this story. I have a new dream. It's Jesus' dream and He shares it with me as with many others! His dream is far from delusional. It is in fact what has shaped past histories and is shaping futures. His' is the ultimate dream. However I also know there is a personal dream out there just shaped for me. It is but a part of the ultimate dream. It is what defines the purpose of my being here on earth. It is what God had in mind when He formed me. And for now this personal dream is what I look to own. And until I get hold of it I'll be waiting to. This is my prayer and I will live it someday. And even after that there will be so much more to live for.


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