Family and friends have always been around but I figure I am eventually alone in this journey. There comes a time of abysmal realization that I am one not half and others are not me, if you know what I mean. There is absolutely no one who can always stay, or who will always stay. There is absolutely no one on this earth who can understand entirely. I suppose that is what longs for God in me. I must say I love this God.
I think what I am trying to say is that I know I won't always have my family around me, my friends will eventually move to different cities, maybe even different countries.. who knows, and no matter how hard we try to stay in touch I know it's not going to be easy. I know we will eventually build our lives around new friends, a new family. And that just augments the realization that I am eventually alone. There is nothing permanent in my life except for me. I am one not half and I suppose I am all that I could be. I am all that I can take along with me. Marriage could be a beautiful thing for that matter. But I am nowhere to even begin seeing what that involves, and in fact I am not even sure if that path is for me.
Even then, death is a certainty. If nothing else death will eventually make me alone. Loved ones will die leaving a vacuum of sorts behind. I will die alone. And still even if not death people may choose to leave. Staying gets too risky. I may be alone even in love, non-reciprocated love. I am eventually alone no matter the manner it happens. There is absolutely nothing that can always stay. There is no one crazy enough, or perhaps brave enough. I am one and will have to remain so. I suppose, right now, I am just a little lonely.
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