Watch sad movies and cry

I guess I'll just watch sad movies and cry. I am feeling too much. All the emotions you could ever be feeling at one time. It seems like quite an impossible thing to express it. So I'll watch sad movies and cry, and hope that as I cry I'm ridding myself of all these emotions that bear so heavily on me right now one drop at a time.

Talking of which I watched the movie Titanic for the umpteenth time last night. I never shed a tear-drop any of the previous times I watched it. No, actually I do remember becoming teary-eyed in the past watching the band play on amidst the chaos around. But that was it. Oh, but I still didn't shed a "tear-drop" technically. Nevermind. Last night, though, was different. I don't know what got into me. It felt like I was watching the movie with a brand new insight I never had before. I was feeling the movie, to be precise. And yes I felt stupid too. I pictured myself as this damsel "always" in distress sighing about every little thing possible waiting to be rescued from every little problem, and I almost went "No way!!". I don't want to be that!

But that's the thing about me these days you know. I just cry so easily about things I never cried about before. And I cry so much more watching movies. That almost feels like a regression. Or is it not? I don't know. Maybe what has happened is that I'm beginning to understand more about the "human dynamics". In simpler English maybe I'm beginning to understand more about being human. So was I less human before this? Hmm.. I don't know what I'm saying. I just need to write right now.

So I cried like a baby, feeling the pain of separation that Rose felt while she was being pulled down to safety on a boat. And totally understanding why she jumped back onto the sinking Titanic just to be with the love of her life Jack. And I thought it was beautiful..

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I've become this person who cries so much more easily, feels so much more emotions. I am this "reservoir" of emotions so to speak. And I'm also trying to say that although this feels like something more vulnerable, although I feel like I'm breaking.. somehow I have an inkling  that this is a good change. And somehow it has widened my horizons. I feel like I see more. I see more pain, I see more hurt and suffering. But then I also see more love, more passion, more life!

I already feel better. Writing is such a release. Grateful. And I love you.

(Picture Courtesy: Google Images)


  1. I get you... age definitely mellows us. Also spiritual maturity also changes your heart.. makes it softer yet stronger. - you know me :-)

  2. umm. no i don't! but you definitely sound familiar... very familiar..... umm...noel??

  3. hey let it all helps it right doses


Post a Comment

Popular Posts