Gladly, certainly things change
I was just reading through some old drafts of my blog posts that were never published in the past, nor were they meant to actually. A particular one reiterates a certain truth that I am beginning to see as a certainty in my life and life in general. It's funny how we start seeing things for what they really are at some point in life when they have been what they are all along even when we didn't see them for themselves, if you know what I mean. Sometimes I wonder if the truth that our eyes finally see at such instances of revelation was a person and had feelings, would it feel hurt for having been misunderstood so many times by so many people? Would it get that sense of desperation that would make it wish to slap us awake and tell us "This is who I really am!"? Would it be just appalled by our ignorance or maybe indifference? I am getting reminded of a proverb that says "Wisdom calls aloud in the street, she raises her voice in the public squares; at the head of the noisy streets she cries out, in the gateways of the city she makes her speech: "How long will you simple ones love your simple ways? How long will mockers delight in mockery and fools hate knowledge?.."", and she goes on for a bit more (Proverbs 1:20 onward). So maybe what I wonder is perhaps possible.
Anyway, I am digressing big time. I came here to talk about something else. So back to what I was saying at the very beginning. I think what I was trying to say is that I am now over another heart-break in my young life, stating it straight. I have this tendency to beat about the bush and not get to the point sometimes. Or I simply get distracted which I think is the case this time. How I know I am certainly over it is by reading a particular draft I mentioned at the start. What's in it that makes me sure? Well, I don't feel/think/do those things any more. I am so glad things finally changed. I have been very familiar with the whole "change is the only constant" saying for a long time now but I am sure you're all familiar too with that feeling you get when you're in the middle of something bad, like a heart-break, that it is not going to change this time. It is just so hard to imagine it changing that it seems impossible. I had that same feeling, which went on for a long time as a matter of fact. Maybe this particular guy really affected me like no other before or something, for whatever reasons. I am just grateful it's over, and I hope I don't stumble upon anyone again for a very long time the way I stumbled upon him.
So here I am again, over the pain and all the crap that was going on. I still do think about him sometimes but the really good part is the pain is gone even when I do. What's left is only the fond memories. The 'carrying on of the best parts and leaving behind the rest' process has finally happened. Guess it's really possible. The best part, though, is that I was never alone. I always had and always will have help from the One who loves me. It's just that the feelings that are painful can't be avoided because it's part of the whole deal. So I just had to feel them for a while. But I am here now. And I wonder what next. One thing, though, is for sure. I want to explore a lot of things by myself before I can share it with a guy (that is if I have to). There can be nothing to hold me back. That's what I love about the single life. Believe me, it is a rich life.
Also, judging from my previous post content as also this one if you think I am obsessed with the whole thing about moving on, getting over and stuff like that, I suppose you're right. But I'll also add I write what life gives me. And if life wants to behave in a particular manner I simply can't help it now can I? Ciao!
(Picture Courtesy: Google Images)