I hope to make the best of my time left in JNU. One of the reasons I love its campus is the peace and solitude I experience here. I haven't made much friends during my time here. Maybe I need to be a little more open I admit. But I have definitely discovered a different part of myself and I've honestly had a great time alone. Being on my own has sort of helped me embrace my insecurities, and perhaps it is by embracing them that they have ceased to feel like things that make me insecure. Enemies have been made friends I suppose. I have come to accept some things about myself just the way I am. For instance the way I've usually felt like a misfit; the excluded one for reasons I couldn't comprehend but which anyway made me feel disqualified if you know what I mean. I have always had this believe in my head that I don't need people's approval, as in the kind that translates into wearing cool clothes, being surrounded by a cool company of friends, doing cool things and the like. But I suppose it is now that I'm starting to see how believing it in my heart feels like. Maybe this is the first step to something new.
The utter comfort that I have usually felt as I walk around the campus is something I can't explain. I feel the presence of God during these times. I feel in harmony with everything around the campus: the buildings, the astoundingly beautiful life-size posters on the walls which carry the spirit of the campus, the people scattered around enjoying a smoke or two; as also the trees with its leaves swaying along with the breeze, the peacocks that cross my path every now and then, the nilgai I stumble upon although quiet rarely, the sound of the birds that soothes my senses, and sometimes the adorning silence enveloping me. And maybe it is not so much about my surroundings as it is about the way I perceive them and respond to them that makes this experience extraordinary. I don't think everyone in this campus goes about chanting verses of how peaceful or serene it is here. Maybe my response to it all has a lot to do with the phase that I'm going through, not necessarily in sync with everybody else's here. I am saying this just so you don't get too disappointed if you've never been to the JNU campus and happen to visit it someday and don't see how I can talk about it the way I do here. One might look at it as only a bunch of tress and birds flapping their wings around, nothing more. Also I don't exactly want to lose my sense of practicality here, you know. Besides the campus would mean so many different things to different people and let's admit it, it might mean nothing at all. But I'd still like to look at JNU as encompassing a kaleidoscope of experiences that gives it its essence, and mine is just that one little shred of glass jingling along with the rest.
What more can I say?.. Actually, I could say a lot more. It's just that I don't want to. And as a matter of fact whatever I might say may not be anything substantial, having assumed everything above is something close. I don't think anyone comes up with anything nice to say when boredom hits. But I'll say one last thing. I sure am going to miss JNU.
(Pictures my own)